Three New Years Resolutions for Moms (and Dads)
Being a mom is hard work. It’s a job that comes with no manual, education or training. Of course I want to be the best mom I can be. Who doesn’t? Looking back over the past year, I can see a number of things I wish I had done differently. There were great moments — and not-so-great moments.
Here are three New Years Resolutions that (I hope) will help me be a better person and a better mom.
1. Yell Less
Even the most even-tempered mom will raise her voice at her kids. No judgement here! It’s hard to stay calm when you’re stressed out and the kids are pushing your buttons. It may feel like the only way your kids will listen is when you raise your voice. It’s not like any of us likes yelling at our kids or feels great about it. But yelling can be a hard habit to break.
This year, I resolve to take a deep breath (or hold my breath), count to 10, and lower my voice before I snap.
2. Hug More
I’m not talking about hugging the curves as you drive a high performance vehicle. I’m talking about hugging — playful and affectionate touching (appropriately, of course). The fact is that touch can make you feel feel closer to the ones you love.
Sadly, many parents stop hugging their kids when they reach puberty. Yet puberty is precisely the time when kids need heart warming hugs to increase their sense of safety, security, trust and belonging.
The frequently quoted psychotherapist, Virginia Satir, says, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
This year, I resolve to meet my daily quota of hugs.
Many moms are guilty of being glued to our phones. Again, no judgement here! Multitasking is my middle name.
Sadly, smartphone users are not necessarily the smartest parents. Studies show that parental use of technology can create widespread feelings of hurt, jealousy and competition in children and young adults. My boys certainly notice and get upset when I’m distracted by my smart phone.
This year, I resolve to put my phone down when my kids are talking to me — unless there’s an actual crisis that needs my immediate attention.
Happy New Year!